A Mother's Letter

We've had this letter since...secondary school. Definitely sometime then. And it never fails to cheer us up every time we read it. Just so happens that we finished dinner around 11pm and actually fell asleep at the dinner table (after soaking the plates, before we wash them up) and when we woke up, the image of this letter flashed in front of our eyes.

Let us share the contents of said letter.

Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know that I am still alive. I am writing this slowly because I know that you can't read fast. You won't know the house when you come home we've moved.

About your father, he has got a lovely new job! He has 500 men under him, he cuts grass at the cemetary. Your sister Mary had a baby this morning I haven't found out yet whether its a boy or a girl so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle.

I went to the doctors on Thursday and your father came with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for 10 minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.

Your uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey at the Dublin brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took 3 days to put the fire out.

It only rained twice this week, first for 3 days then for 4 days. We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last payment on your grandmother's plot wasn't paid in 7 days, up she comes.

Your loving Mother.

P.S. I was going to send you 5 pounds but I have already sealed the envelope.

Heh, this letter's hanging on the kitchen door, and we happen to notice it after all this while because our eyes landed on it first thing we woke up.